Hey ya’ll.  Now that I’m living the life of an unemployed ModelActressWaitressBridetoBe I have to do tiring things like taste a million desserts and sit in a chair for four hours while someone paints my face to make it look natural.  I have sympathy for the first time in maybe ever for anyone who has to sit in a make-up chair for a long time.  It’s not like the sympathy I have for people who are scared in Libya or jailed unjustly or the people starving in Africa (or the million other places they’re starving) but it’s sympathy nonetheless.  It’s simply saying, “I did not know you could get tired sitting down and looking up and down and to the side and pretending to be interested in an article.  I did not know that.  Now I do.”

Suffice it to say: I chose a make-up girl.  Grace Ilasco at http://www.beautybygrace.com as recommended by my wedding planner Amber.  We had a great time, I looked so hot, I mean hotter than I did on the cover of Vogue that time, but then I had to take it all off because Terry doesn’t want one iota of a clue what I’m going to look like the wedding day.  BECAUSE HE’S ROMANTIC AND THAT MAKES ME LOVE HIM MORE!

I am not feeling all that romantic today.  I’m feeling sort of blah and icky.  Feeling super duper invisible and unemployed.  I don’t look to be comforted or even get anything — I’m just stating a fact.  My therapist has taught me not to deny the human experience.  So you can feel bad AND good at the same time.  When I hear the word “AND” sometimes I think about him.  I’m planning my wedding AND I’m happy about that AND I can’t believe someone so loving loves me AND I am really sad my career is at a standstill AND I feel like lying down.  He lets me know I can have a myriad of feelings at once AND that is healthy. Good to know because much of my life has been trying to convince myself I shouldn’t feel one way or another.  An absolute pointless endeavor.  But if it could get me a job, trust me, I’d go back to my old ways.

So okay, though the point of this blog thing is to focus on the wedding, not my drip of a career.  My wedding.  Me.  The last person to get married (screenplay idea – nope – wedding movies are all bought – see! – that’s how fast a good idea becomes a bad one).  And not only did I choose a make-up and hair chick but WE HAVE AN OFFICIANT!!!

Meet My Officiant!

Okay, not this guy.  It’s our friend, Ellen Way.  She’s very nice, a lot wiser than Terry and I combined (I think he’d agree) and she said “yes.”  We called and spoke to a whole lot of folks (“folks” – yeah, that’s a word I throw around every day), many of whom were interesting and nice and gave us good things to think about yet NONE of them really spoke our language.

So Ellen it is.  I just don’t know if I can look at her and take her seriously.  When she went to hug me on Sunday she humped my leg.  Man.  I wonder if I can wear shades?

Okay, time to do something else. I just wrote all this goopy shit about how much I love you guys. Well, I do, damn it.  Get over it.

Next entry:  Junior Bridesmaids.  Dresses + Websites + Teresa Giudice’s Daughter.